Dreams

On Monday I get to go see Godspeed You Black Emperor!, a Canadian post-rock band that I’ve wanted to see since I was around 12 years old. They were the first live band I ever wanted to see, and almost immediately after I got into them they had the audacity to break up and go on hiatus. The band hadn’t officially ended as an entity, but they weren’t recording any more albums or doing any more shows. Thus another child hood dream was destroyed. Not only would I never get to see Godspeed, but I’d have to put them on the list along with becoming an astronaut and gaining super powers. The world is a cold mistress.

Whilst the latter two dreams may never become realised, at least this one will. It seems a fairly small dream and most people would probably laugh at the extent to which my ambitions extend. It is a little bit sad though: I’m not sure what other dreams I do have. When you’re younger the world is a place of endless opportunities and your dreams stretch to fulfil that. As I’ve gotten older I got more cynical, not helped by a spell of intense negativity and unhappiness in the latter part of my teens. I don’t think I’ve really had any new intense ambitions for the last few years. This needs to be rectified!

This blog post isn’t just a result of Godspeed, but also a result of Randy Pausch’s last lecture. If you haven’t seen this lecture you should really give it a watch: 

I can’t remember any other childhood dreams at the moment which I can get some distance towards achieving. But it’s perhaps time to gain some new ones. It’s important for me to remember that these are goals to achieve over the next decade or more. So whilst it’s good to start progressing towards them straight away I shouldn’t feel too negative if by the end of 2011 I’ve not ticked several off!

• Live in another country for several years. Living in another country will take me far outside my comfort zone. That’s the point and it’s part of the entire experience. I think I’ll have more luck if I try one of the many other English speaking countries rather than also giving myself the objective of becoming fluent in another language. In order to achieve this I’ll either need to get a job or an opportunity to study abroad. My job is quite a specialist field and skillset so it does open up these sorts of opportunities.

• Take up a physical activity that involves other people. I do enjoy going to the gym and running. But I think it’d be great to develop a skill based hobby which I can enjoy with others. Particularly whilst I’m young and can both learn new skills relatively easily, and be fit enough to compete!

• It’s said everyone has a novel in them. I would really like to get mine out. This is a tough one since it involves putting in a lot of hours developing the ability. I’m under no illusion of that. Steps along the way could be getting a short story published. I think it’s a really good form of creativity and expression which can still entertain and move other people. I’d like to have such a creation to my name.

• In the short term I’d like to many more friends, and just enjoy being with other people a little bit more. For too long I’ve been self-critical, negative and destructive. As part of the way along this I should finally take a plunge into dating more seriously rather than the half-hearted scared approach I’ve currently employed! I should also try giving back to society, perhaps as part of a volunteering scheme.

• Go on a walking expedition in mountains other than those in the UK. There’s some big and very pretty mountains outside our shore too. They should be visited!

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About lenty

22 year old medical statistician living in London. I love drone music, F1, politicians and reading fantasy/sci-fi/dystopian fiction. Generally I post about a mixture of all the above plus the movies I watch!
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One Response to Dreams

  1. Pingback: Post a day | Lenty's Blog

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